too weak to be your cure (memoria99) wrote,
too weak to be your cure

so i really was gonna start to use this thing more often when i got my wireless interenet card for my laptop. but then my computer crashed. and i havent had time to fix it. so... eventually, maybe, i will really use this thing again. i cant bring myself to stop using it, so i might as well try to start using it.

things have actually been really good lately, for the most part.

although i have been sick, which sucked. a lot. had to go to the ER yesterday which sucked as well. saw ben c. there which was very random. anyway, now i've basically had the whole week off work. i'm supposed to have tomorrow off. i think i'll let them know i can come in if they need someone but... if not, i'm off until friday. its really weird and i dont know what to do w/ myself. but i definitely couldnt have survived at work these past few days.

read a million little pieces by james frey. i had mixed emotions. i didnt even want to read it, b/c i was so angry that he lied so much. its very disheartening to know that someone can do something like that, especially in an industry you want to go into one day. but on the other hand, i was curious. so i read it.

and what can i say? if james frey wrote fiction... it would be amazing. but it does suck to read a book, and everytime you really care about a character, or get into a situation... you're always wondering if he just made it all up or not. he should've just written the book as fiction loosely based on his experiences. b/c thats what it was, right?

anyway. reading the green mile now. thought about the stand, which i've tried to read a few times before, but i've never had the time. i still think i dont have the time.

school is just around the corner now.
i am beyond scared.
i still dont know if i'm gonna be able to survive at this school. b/c really... i am not smart enough. i'm not saying it in a bad way, or b/c i want people to comment and say "you are smart!"

i know i'm smart. very smart, even. NHS smart, dean's honor list at FPC smart. that's not providence college smart. and i'm not sure i ever will be providence college smart.

i'm prepared to work though. i'm willing to really work for this. so hopefully between that and how smart i actually am, i can trick everyone into thinking u'm PC smart. ;)

gonna go rest for awhile. maybe read a little.
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